5 easy ways to survive election night
It’s almost here! Election night. Some of you have waited four long years for this so, understandably, your anxiety may be running high. Fortunately, we have some ideas to help you get through it.
Watch something LESS scary than Election Night news coverage.
May we suggest:
- Gangsters: America’s Most Evil (REELZ, 8 PM)
- The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2 (FREFM, 8 PM)
- The Last Exorcism (MOMAX, 9 PM)
Try these calming yoga poses to go from OMG to ommmm.
- Happy Baby (stop if you start reverting to fetal position)
- Corpse Pose (avoid if feeling fatalistic)
- Warrior Pose (if you just don’t want to be calm)
Distract yourself with something trivial, like what to call Kamala Harris’s husband if she becomes the first female VP.
A. SMOTUS (Second Man of the United States)
B. SHOTUS (Second Husband of the United States)
C. SFOTUS (Second Fiddle of the United States)
Play the Florida-Pennsylvania game.
Every time Florida or Pennsylvania is mentioned during election coverage, take a good stiff drink. In 10 minutes, you won’t care who wins, or know what state you live in.
Go to bed early.
We promise you won’t wake up in either an authoritarian regime or a socialist dystopia. Until inauguration day.
Finally, please remember: if you need some help celebrating or recovering tomorrow, we’re always here.